Gandalf (The Black)
Gandalf (The Black) is the leader of the hit Rap Group Bear Klub International. He currently resides in Kansas City, where him and A-Money are still known to tear up the rap game on occasion. He is best known for his track on SQUAD mix tape "Intervention," his shows in Colorado and Kansas, and his three epic rap battles. He has been a key factor in the success of rappers across the U.S. and his style and flow remain unmatched. Origins Legend says he was born in Pennsylvania, but all we know for sure is that after finding a rap name on the internet, Insane Jesus started bustin rhymes across Florida. He is best known for his prolific verse on the single "Bussa Nutz On Em" and his stunts from the video. The success got to his head, so he embarked on a spiritual journey. While on his pilgrimage, he met fellow rapper D-Thug and they trained under the popular mentor known as Andre. Andre's training was difficult, and Jesus and D-Thug battled night and day to prove who would be the greatest of them. But this series of trials strained their relationship and they could no longer write music together. Andre said he would take them to Kansas, a state filled with hot new rap talent. They would build a rap group there and then meet him in Chicago for a glorious rap battle (destined never to occur). But first, he introduced them to the real Jesus. When Insane Jesus found real Jesus, he changed his name to Choir Boy. D-Thug stayed D-Thug tho, cuz he a savage. When they arrived in Kansas, they immediately disagreed on administrative techniques and split up. D-thug decided to base his crew in Paola, Kansas while Choir Boy chose the far superior location of Olathe, Kansas (as would be decided at a Halloween rap battle a year later). One day, Choir Boy met a white kid who thought he was a drug dealer. Decidedly, the kid had guts. He chose to mentor him and to teach him his rap ways. Starting with Slick Rick and working through to Kendrick, he had him analyze all the greats. This white kid would eventually become the first Adult Cheesy, hip hop legend. Around the same time, Choir Boy encountered a local rap master known as Sweet D (by the ladies). After hearing Choir Boy's verses, Sweet D decided to feature on a few of his tracks. Choir Boy realized he had something good going out in the Olathe streets, so he came up with a name for him, Adult Cheesy, and Sweet D: SQUAD. SQUAD, when it started, was just three young guys spitting heat everywhere they went. It was really Choir Boy and his Def Disciples, if we're being honest. Choir Boy knew they needed clout with the underground Olathe community if they were gonna be able to take on the young talent at Old Settlers Parade in September. So he went straight to Two Trails, the baddest skate park in the Mid West (besides OP). He pulled up with Sweet D and Adult Cheesy and walked up on three youngins that were just chillin at the park. After calling down his heavenly fire, one of them ran. The two who stayed behind, Choir Boy decided, could be taught the ways of rap. The other would eventually come back looking for Choir Boy and the Disciples, but for now only two of the Two Trails Crew would join the SQUAD. Choir Boy needed money to support his new rap group, so he got them a job performing for a local church. On his way in for a sound check with Adult Cheesy, he saw another youngin with a Regular Show watch spittin lyrical masterpieces outside. After a quick rap battle, Choir Boy and Adult Cheesy went in to rehearse. A week later, Choir Boy scored a debut show in Denver for the SQUAD. Just before the trip, Sweet D got a tour in Southeast Asia, where he was blowin up. He and Choir Boy agreed that the best move was to split. He would hire a replacement to do the show. He needed someone controversial, someone who would bring in Denver clout, so he chose a white kid in overalls who just got off a tour with Modest Mouse. He was rapping under just his first name at the time, a power move to be sure. At the venue, Choir Boy met his openers. They were a group of three Kansas white boys, and one was the kid with the Regular Show watch. After the show, they all hung out before a late night cypher. Choir Boy told them to link up when they came back to Kansas. As he was getting into the tour bus, a fan stopped him to get his autograph. The fan said he was from Kansas too and that he would be at the SQUAD's next show at the church. Back in Kansas, Choir Boy called a meeting of the SQUAD at the local Apple Bees. Sweet D, back from Asia; Adult Cheesy; the kids from Two Trails; and the two potential new members, the white boy in overalls and the boy with the watch. The SQUAD decided that the kid in the overalls was in, but he had to change his name to something more supportive of the crew than his first name. At that moment, the building shook. Beams of light came through the windows as the white kid stood up, threw his fist in the air, and shouted "CALL ME DICK MUNCH POOP GOD!" It was perfect. He would be christened Poop God (DMPG for the church shows). The second matter of business was to determine the worthiness of the kid with the watch. Choir Boy looked him in the eyes and told him that there was another they were considering. Known as the AsiaN Sensation, he was a good rapper and a great break dancer. But the kid with the watch had the lyrical ability they needed. Only one thing stood in the way of his rise to glory: He was ugly. But Choir Boy cut him a deal. He said that he could join the SQUAD, if he cut his hair and gave the rest of the SQUAD complete control of his wardrobe. He agreed, and the crew's expansion was solidified. Before their first show back in Kansas, Choir Boy and Adult Cheesy took the kid with the watch to get new clothes. On the way home, after taking a look at his jeans, he suggested that they change the name of the SQUAD to "A-money & these Bitches" and a legend was born. He was introduced at the show as A-money and A-money he would remain. Following the show, Choir Boy fronted some cash for them to drop a mixtape. He chose J Peso as the headliner, because he had max appeal with the ladies. Peso wrote the first track, Cheesy did the second, Money was third, D was fourth, Choir Boy was fifth, and DMPG finished it off. It was almost perfect. Peso felt that they needed a transition between Choir Boy's fire track and DMPG's killer finish. They needed someone who could freestyle a verse in the studio on short notice, so they called up Lil Chuy, one of Money's old crew. After hearing his first take, the decision was unanimous. He would join the SQUAD. The mixtape left the whole community in flames. It was all anyone could talk about, and it was spreading across the U.S. Choir Boy decided to change his name to Gandalf the Black because his mentoring had been so successful. They scored a battle at the Old Settlers Parade. Gandalf, A-money, J Peso, and Adult Cheesy would stand on stage and battle up and coming rappers. First up was Sir Henry, a rapper famous for his YouTube battle raps. He did well, and the SQUAD barely defeated him. After he was done, they thought the worst was over. An anonymous rapper came on stage. He threw out good rhymes, but the Squad held the upper hand. Peso came in to finish him off, just like they had practiced, when the unknown rapper said "CHURCH? Who the fuck's church?" and dropped the mic. They lost. Peso took it especially hard, but Gandalf assured him that no amount of training could help you come back from that. A month after the battle, D-Thug sent Gandalf a message. He had his own squad and he wanted to battle. The SQUAD was coming off a loss and Thug's crew was the best in the U.S. They needed an X factor if they were gonna win in front of a live audience in Paola. Gandalf chose the group for the battle carefully. He wanted Peso as a hype-man, DMPG for controversy, Money for wordplay, Big D to intimidate, Cheesy for flow, and Sir Henry for the X Factor. They journeyed to Paola. On the way into the venue, some of D-Thug's fans surrounded them. They were gonna have to fight their way out. Gandalf had them get in circle formation. A particularly rowdy fan ran up on Cheesy to start the battle, but Cheesy hit him with a right hook that sent him to the ground. The fans dispersed quietly after seeing him get knocked into next week. But just before the show they were back and more SICKO MODE than ever. Thug was popular in Paola, and his crew had hyped them up while he was gone. Smoke machines sent fog everywhere as both sides took the stage. Thug's goons started. They were tough, roasting the whole SQUAD and everyone they loved. Peso led the SQUAD in, changing the tide and forcing the fans to vibe with them. DMPG took off a strap of his overalls and his nip slip really got the crowd goin. Money threw in some crisp wordplay and took on Thug directly, a bold move. Big D jumped into the crowd and started a pit. Three grown-ass men were hospitalized. Cheesy's flow was strong, but it couldn't match Thug, who ran on stage and came straight for Gandalf. He toasted his mom. It was too much. Peso and Money had to hold him back. Henry went after Thug, but it wasn't gonna be enough. They needed a miracle. Cheesy knew what to do. Taking after Tyler the Creator, he ran into the crowd, found live goldfish in a tank in the back, and ate three of them right in front of everybody. The crowd went wild. The SQUAD had defeated Thug and his crew. Cheesy was given a Coach purse for the power of his verse. On the way home, Gandalf gave them a pep talk. He let them know that everyone did well, except Henry. His bars weren't enough, so he got cut from the crew. It was time to expand once again. The SQUAD was committing time to a lot of investments, so they needed to be sure they would have enough members to keep up with the shows at all the Olathe churches. Gandalf decided to call an iconic meeting ten minutes before a show. Though he only intended for Cheesy, Money, D, and Peso (who were gonna perform that night) to attend, a large group followed. The purpose of the meeting was that Gandalf was gonna add another member. The fan from Denver had proved he had potential, so he wanted to add him to the group. But the crowd heard that someone was gonna make the cut, so the aspiring members among them pushed their way to the center of the circle. There were ten. Gandalf told them that they would all have a chance to spit their bars, but that only one would be chosen. The SQUAD prepared to choose between the group. One pushed to the front. He carried hot sauce in a holster and a wrench in his pocket. Covered in motor oil, he began his verse. "Burnin ya house down, killin ya family like the Cleveland Browns." But that was all he said! Then, he started throwing fists. He took down all ten rappers, and the crowd vanished (pullin out straight Cheesy flashbacks). There were no competitors left standing, so he was unanimously voted in. They called him Raptor Homie. The fan from the Denver show was named Glabe, and together they were the newest editions to the SQUAD (and also polar opposites, leading to a number of violent conflicts which would be drawn out well into the future). A few months later, Gandalf was flirting with his future wife, so he didn't have time to scout out their next member. He told Money to nominate and he would confirm or deny the choice. Money journeyed far and wide searching for a new member. After finding none who he could back, he went off into the woods to think. While there, he saw the third member of his former crew. He was chillin in the woods doing nothing. Money thought that was suspicious stuff, so he sat back and watched as he used the heat of his bars to start a fire. He had passed the age old test. Money came forth from the trees and told him he would back him if he chose to join the SQUAD. He agreed and was called JWPEEL. They ventured back to land, but they had to cross the sketchy bridge over the Creek of Destiny. As they crossed, the bridge broke (because it was literally two branches) and Money made it across, but PEEL fell in. Money assured him that the waters of destiny would be good for his flow, but also that he was never gonna live down falling in the creek. So his name became WETPEEL. Some time later, a wealthy patron of the crew asked them to perform at a party in Eudora, Kansas. They agreed, but Gandalf needed to check the vibe before he chose who would go. He sent Money and Cheesy to scout it out. They showed up early, signed autographs, drank, and called Gandalf with the vibe. Gandalf chose Peso and Yor's Truly to contribute their experience and angsty vibe to the crew, but he also wanted Glabe and Raptor Homie to prove themselves, so he had them come with. On the way there, Raptor Homie and Glabe picked up flares for special effects during the outdoor portion of the show. The show was a huge success, but the flares didn't light at first, so Raptor Homie and Glabe had to stop their verses and fix the problem. Gandalf looked to the rest of his crew, but they were spent. Cheesy and Money (the lightest weights in the SQUAD) were long gone, Peso and Truly were in the crowd starting a pit, and he was frozen with shock. It was then that the patron stepped on stage. She spit bars so flame that the flares immediately ignited. Everyone lost it. An epic conclusion to the party. Gandalf approached her afterwards to ask her to join the crew and take her place as M'~'''Shady'. '''She agreed to be honorarily inducted, primarily because the SQUAD needed to represent the women killin the game out in the Rural Kansas Streets, but she was committed to lengthy tours in Europe and Africa, so she declined. Gandalf did the nod he does when he gets what you're doing but he isn't down for it, they shook hands, and that was the end of the party. The drive back to Olathe was a lot. Money and Cheesy were wasted, Truly was asleep in the trunk, Peso was still tryna party, and Glabe and Raptor Homie were mad they didn't get to perform. But it all worked out in the way small issues do, and it was time to move forward. Growth and development was key to continuing SQUAD's dominance over the Kansas rap game. Gandalf knew this, but he didn't have the resources to train them all. He called in a rapper he grew up with in Philadelphia to help train the new members. He agreed, but he had conditions. He wanted to bring in someone new. Someone who had no experience rapping. Someone who would write verses that would straight up scar people for life. And he wanted to train him with the rest of the SQUAD. The mysterious Philly rapper (not Meek Mill but he coulda been) met with them one by one and trained with them for hours. Even the most experienced of them had room for improvement, so these sessions began to define the group. The Philly rapper chose a youngin off the East Olathe streets and named him Keebler, because his most notable quality was his love of cookies. After rigorous training, the SQUAD prepped to produce their second mixtape: COOKIEZ, but it got pushed off because the whole vibe of the group was changing dramatically... Because there were so many new members joining all at once, the crew transitioned in a way. Their songs were still fire, but they needed to work on how they performed. The perfect opportunity to practice arrived with a text from D-Thug. He had a new crew now, after dismissing the old one who couldn't keep up with his sick flow, and this time he wanted to play for keeps. He challenged Gandalf to another battle. If he lost, he would have to leave the SQUAD and join Thug and his group: The Antisquad. But if he won, Thug would join the SQUAD. Gandalf agreed. He was so confident they would win, that he decided to bring in PEEL, Raptor Homie, Glabe, and PEEL's younger brother. They had guts, but Gandalf wanted a little insurance that he would stay with the SQUAD, so he had Money draft their verses. The battle in Paola was to proceed verse by verse, SQUAD vs. Antisquad, until one crew ran out of bars. Raptor Homie would go first, to hype up the crowd. Glabe would follow, and PEEL and his brother would perform together to divide and conquer. While one group performed, Money would draft the verse for the next, so that they could continuously battle. Gandalf had the finishing verse planned, and he would take shifts as a scribe so Money could rest his hands. The battle continued for five hours. The Antisquad looked weak, and Money was running out of bars. Gandalf ran onstage and slammed the Antisquad so bad they started applying for day jobs that very same night. The crowd went nuts. The SQUAD needed an armored truck just to get out of Paola. Thug and Gandalf shook, and he joined the crew. Under the instruction of the Philly rapper, the group's talent grew exponentially, but this also led to some big egos. Gandalf stayed true to himself, but the crew was transitioning. With all the new changes, it was time for another meeting. Gandalf assembled the SQUAD to talk about their new sound and identity. Because the whole group dynamic had changed so dramatically, they needed a new name. The Philly rapper, who was returning the next morning since his work was completed, suggested Bear Klub (for reasons unknown). The motion was approved by a good majority, and Bear Klub was born. Bear Klub: The first real event in the creation of Bear Klub was another show in Denver and some changes made by Gandalf. Another grand meeting was called. Gandalf selected Memeus, Chuy, Money, Fig, Cheesy Melon, J, Keebler, Glabe, and their producer Raptor Homie for the show in Denver. Sweet D, who was once again touring Asia, would partner with Peso, Truly, Thug, and DMPG for max appeal. It was also decided that Raptor Homie would have to change his name to something that sounded more like a DJ. He chose DJ Paradoxx, which would be his name for the trip to Denver. Bear Klub divided up so they could take over the world (here defined as Denver and the entire continent of Asia). Unfortunately, Glabe would never perform at the show in Denver. Awhile back,Money had created a MAC sign for when you tryna talk with a girl alone and the other homies be interfering. He then taught the sign to the rest of Bear Klub. Glabe missed the memo about the purpose of the sign, believing that it was supposed to be used whenever you wanted everyone else to stop talking so you could speak, and made the sign while talking with Gandalf's girl. Gandalf saw and promptly cut him from the lineup for the show. Oof. The show was still a success, excluding some minor complications. Five hours before the show, Poetic Memeus (allegedly...pending the results at trial) pooped in a clogged toilet. Someone in maintenance found out, and threatened to have them kicked out of the venue if it wasn't fixed. The venue was pretty ghetto, so there wasn't a plunger in the place. DJ Paradoxx knew what he had to do. He scooped the poop. With his hands. And he threw that (literal) shit out the window of the venue. What a guy. Four hours to performance, Chef J had some of the burliest audience members come together in a group so that he could practice crowd surfing. But when he jumped, he landed right on a young woman. As luck would have it, it was Gandalf's girl. She had to go to the hospital, so Gandalf went with her. No one knew if he would be back in time. With one hour to showtime, a riot broke out. They didn't see Adult Cheesy on the fliers, so they were pissed he wouldn't be there (he was an icon, "the hot one" as Money would later describe him for an interview with The New York Times). Because Gandalf was gone, Chuy (arguably the most responsible of the crew, was in charge). He needed a solution, and fast, as the crowd had already taken Fig, Melon, and Keebler hostage. He told Money to run out and find a random ginger, convince him to perform as Cheesy, and pay him up to $20 for his services (finances were tight). Money found him and paid him up front. This was a mistake. He disappeared ten minutes before the show. Chef J decided to perform as Adult Cheesy, since he was responsible for Gandalf's absence, Chuy reluctantly agreed, and the crew took the stage. Fig, Melon, and Keebs were promptly released, but not before they branded Cheesy Melon with a $... It was a tough day, to be sure. The performance was great. At the end of the show, the crowd realized Gandalf was missing. Infuriated, they started taking over the stage. But at the last second, Gandalf descended from the ceiling like an angel and pacified them with his rhymes. Everything worked out, and Bear Klub left for home. After the show, the group started to dissolve, and Adult Cheesy, Gandalf, and AçAp Cheesy started working as a group. After this short, but successful period, Gandalf started working independently and settled down to start a family. The crew was all but officially disbanded, as it would stay for a number of years, until a tour in Australia brought them back together. Poetic Memeus got a call to perform at a few venues in Sydney and Melbourne. He accepted and signed the contracts. When he arrived at the venue, he found out there would be a huge bonus if he could convince the rest of Bear Klub to link up for a reunion tour. By this time, everyone had their own lives, so only a few could make it. Gandalf the Black, Sweet D, and A-money came out for the tour and the crew reunited at last. This is the group known as Bear Klub International today. Gandalf still performs and mentors the next generation of rappers when he isnt slingin shots (of espresso and alcohol) and spendin time with his family. He will always be remembered for his leadership of the hardest, craziest, most dangerous rap group in hip hop history.